Only When She Sleeps
by CompletelyObsessive
Summary: One- shot lovey dovey drabble type thing.   Chuck can only admire and love Her when she sleeps angelically beside him, for the sake of his pride. Set mid Season 4. R


**A/N: Set somewhere in season four, could be anywhere from 4x10 to 4x15 I reckon.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or rights to Gossip Girl. But oh! how I wish I did. **

His intrepid fingers grazed along her collar bone, barely touching her milky flesh so as not to wake her from whatever dreams she dreamt in that mind he could never quite work out. Chuck knew, better than her he knew because he had experienced it, that once her hazel eyes fluttered open that this illusion would shatter; she would leave him to be himself. But Chuck did not like who he was without her.

Lazily he mapped patterns across her shoulder, deft fingers whispering along her skin, only to be replaced moments later with his lips. He wondered that if she woke to his lips softly lingering on her shoulder, her chest, her neck then she would stay and maybe let him capture her once more, just for a while longer, in his arms. His body. Chuck had never been more complete then when she was wrapped in his arms, as part of him. She was half of him, and without her half, he was lost.

Listlessly he would wonder from one woman to the next, wondering only when the next drink would be put in his hand, not caring if the next woman that ended up panting beneath him wanted him at all. Because without Her, he was not human.

Brunette curls spilled across his pillow and around her face, and he could only watch in wonder as the rays from the early morning sun tangled around her, getting caught in long eyelashes and illuminating her face. Chuck had never seen a creature more beautiful on this earth, if there was any reason to believe in God (even after all the sour cards he had been played over his life), she was that reason.

Headstrong and ruthless, she was a malevolent force not to be reckoned with. Cross her and you may as well have signed your own death warrant. She matched him in that way. But lying there then, with a rose tinted blush dancing across her cheeks, he could see that beneath her shell was something celestial. In everything she did there was a certain rapture, and even in the bad she held a fiery passion that matched no other. If ever grace and finesse were personified. Never had there been a person so full of _love. _Love of her friends, her parents… and him. Or he had once thought that at least.

It was easy to forget, as Chuck buried his face in her neck, trying to find some form of blissful escape in her intoxicating scent (the scent he hoped would stay on his pillow for days after), that if ever they walked hand in hand then around every corner would be an obstacle forcing them to let go of one another. However brief it was, every separation still snapped another string of his heart.

That voice at the back of his mind, the one he suppressed at every chance possible, told Chuck that in a second they could be together, with not a single problem. All it would cost was their pride. But if there was one word to sum them up as human beings, using the term loosely here, it was stubborn.

One day. One day, when he had grown up and she had let her consuming ambition dwindle just slightly, they would be together. But that was not today.

"I'd give it all up for you, this Empire, if you'd just let me." Chuck whispered into the nape of her neck, breathing in the smell of love and life that heavily perfumed her.

He breathed out silently, knowing that it would be his last chance in a while to say this to her. But it was hard, even now, to show this side of himself. It was why, like the coward he was, he only swooned and sighed when those who he loved could not see.

"I love you." Chuck said in a hushed breath.

She did not stir, only, minutes later, to move her lips in a whispered, "I love you too."

They were still for a long moment after that, an atmosphere of longing settling heavy over them both but which they both dismissed, and together they silently counted the last seconds, consuming every ounce of unspoken love.

"You can't stay?" Chuck sighed as she finally climbed out of bed, and greedily he watched the bed sheets run over the perfect curves of her back and off her bare hips.

"You know I can't." she stated plainly, and Chuck had to contain a sardonic look accompanied with the cliché of '_Can't or won't?'_

Maybe he should have said something though, anything. Instead, he fell back onto the bed, and stopped himself from watching her go.

Blair Waldorf was gone. Chuck Bass was lost.

**A/N: I have no idea why I didn't say Blair's name at all until the end. I keep on doing that :/**

**Review please! I know it is only short, but it would still mean the world to me.**


End file.
